Holidays

I  felt more like Charlie Brown this year than ever before during the holidays, although I was accused of being a regular Grinchy Claus. Overly commercial, overly political, overly done...DONE! I am not, nor have I ever been a decorated by Halloween or Christmas music in June type of guy...not to say I absolutely don't love the holiday, I do...The first year I was married, we drove nearly 1000 miles over the holiday and it wasn't enough...we had calls that we were leaving out family, forgetting family...we just couldn't satisfy either side of our families. My wife has a saying, at least make 50% of the equation happy...that is us. So year two, NYC! Don't kid. It was wonderful.  In Chris Gardner's second book, he has a great quote, "sometimes you just have to give up Christmas."  The "idealistic" "Norman Rockwell" Christmas had to go. Yes it works and is a reality for many of my friends (or at least perceived) but for us it would never be. 

This was the first holiday we didn't go or do. Yes, it was a little lonely but every time we would ask ourselves if we wanted to go back...the drama was just too much to deal with.  See, it's still not enough. Last year we were in Japan in December, so naturally we bought gifts from Asia for all of our Nieces and Nephews (we have 8 total)...one asked us "how much did it cost and how much is it worth"....stunned! So this year...I couldn't bear to buy gifts...first of all, I can not and will not compete with the grandparents...not my role. 

See, to me, the holiday, if taken as a sacred holiday, isn't about us, isn't about stuff...it's about personal introspection, deepening of relationships and a time to set aside "US" and become a little bit more.  Don't give me "taking the Christ out of Christmas" line....when you over spend, over buy and neglect those without.  When you miss the point, that out of chaos...came hope.

So what we did was donate in each families name, a gift from Heifer International (a group of ducklings!) and send them toy ducks to remember the gift made and those without.  And for the first time in a long time, I felt really good about giving over the holidays.

" It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!