Random Thoughts

I know it's been awhile since I have blogged here...I have been focused on my other site, watwoodhappen.com to try to build my personal site...I hope to get back to writing here very soon.

perspective

I heard a quote one day that stated..."as we get older, our zeal should be replaced with grace." I like that. Life is one of the greatest teachers...there is no failure when we learn from what we go through.  In fact, it is those experiences that should draw us together as humans.  Unfortunately too many times in life we seek to avoid the hard and difficult in life...thus we miss the chance to learn but we also miss an opportunity to connect on a deeper level of life. Have noticed a disturbing new trend...we have replaced what a true mature person is with what an "older" person looks like.  Too many people take the easy way out...buying a house equates being an adult....have kids equate being mature...but just as sex doesn't not equate love...things to not replace experiences.  Let us know run from the life....from the pain...but embrace the moment of grown....doesn't mean we have to like it, doesn't mean you don't want it to end...but don't run from it...you are running from becoming better.

New Year Thoughts

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

No, I am not late....Lunar New Year was the 23rd!
Ever since traveling to Asia, we have celebrated the Lunar New Year!  There is a terrific chocolate shop in New England area called L.A. Burdick that offers Lunar New Year inspired chocolates which has become a tradition in our house.

So here is a few New Year Thoughts:
The year of the Rabbit (which I am ) was suppose to be a great one....not so much...2011 couldn't end quick enough.  But if the hardship and frustration act as a filter for all that we are not suppose to be focused on or be doing...then I accept it.

Fear will always be your boundaries.  You will only go as far as your fears will let you...so in 2012...no fear.

Life is a fight. No one will give you anything...it's not selfish to fight for what you want.

Don't wait for a sign...providence rarely offers a neon arrow...we have to hustle. I heard a statement that said "God makes the eggs we make the omelets!"

What? You went to Law School?

I get that question ALL the time. Most of the time...and accurately so, people think there is only ONE thing to be after law school...a lawyer.  I get it.

Here is the bottom-line....I went to law school for the knowledge...the degree...to give myself options for the future.  I am thankful for that...and for the amazing friends I made, the depth of knowledge I gained and the person I am today and who knows what the future will give me...but bankruptcy, divorce, tax etc etc etc or appearing on an incredibly cheesy commercial about "one call that's all" or "tough smart hammer"....it's just not me. I knew it from my first class of Torts Section Z Fall Semester.

So... as inspiration to all of us out there on the non-traditional path (and proof to my in-laws:)) here is a list of fellow travelers who either enrolled, went, graduated or even practiced a little:

Gene Kelley -Actor

Mohandas Gandhi- Political/Civic Rights Leader

Bob Newhart-Actor

Gerard Butler-Actor

Jason Isaacs -Actor

Rick Rosenfield and Larry Flax- Co-Founders of California Pizza Kitchen

Tony La Russa- Retired MLB Manager

Ed Hochuli- NFL Referee

Jay BIlas- NBA Announcer/ESPN Commentator

Michael Slive- Commissioner of the Southeastern Conference

Ozzie Nelson- Actor/Singer/Entertainer

John Cleese- Actor/ Monty Python

David E. Kelly- TV Producer

Henri Matisse- Painter

Wassily Kandisnsky -Painter

Oscar Hammerstein II- Winner of 8 Tony Awards as a musical: librettist, theatrical producer, and theatre director

Howard Cosell- Sports Announcer

Nina and Tim Zagat- Restaurant Review

Dick Button-Olympic Skater

Steve Young- Fmr. NFL Quarterback

Roland Berrill and Lance Ware, two English lawyers, founded MENSA,

Jerry Springer- no comment 

Marv Levy- Fmr. NFL Coach

Vincent Lombardi- Legendary NFL Coach enrolled in night law school

Andrea Boccelli-Singer

Robert Parker-Founder of the Wine Advocate

Mike Leach- College Football Coach

Holidays

I  felt more like Charlie Brown this year than ever before during the holidays, although I was accused of being a regular Grinchy Claus. Overly commercial, overly political, overly done...DONE! I am not, nor have I ever been a decorated by Halloween or Christmas music in June type of guy...not to say I absolutely don't love the holiday, I do...The first year I was married, we drove nearly 1000 miles over the holiday and it wasn't enough...we had calls that we were leaving out family, forgetting family...we just couldn't satisfy either side of our families. My wife has a saying, at least make 50% of the equation happy...that is us. So year two, NYC! Don't kid. It was wonderful.  In Chris Gardner's second book, he has a great quote, "sometimes you just have to give up Christmas."  The "idealistic" "Norman Rockwell" Christmas had to go. Yes it works and is a reality for many of my friends (or at least perceived) but for us it would never be. 

This was the first holiday we didn't go or do. Yes, it was a little lonely but every time we would ask ourselves if we wanted to go back...the drama was just too much to deal with.  See, it's still not enough. Last year we were in Japan in December, so naturally we bought gifts from Asia for all of our Nieces and Nephews (we have 8 total)...one asked us "how much did it cost and how much is it worth"....stunned! So this year...I couldn't bear to buy gifts...first of all, I can not and will not compete with the grandparents...not my role. 

See, to me, the holiday, if taken as a sacred holiday, isn't about us, isn't about stuff...it's about personal introspection, deepening of relationships and a time to set aside "US" and become a little bit more.  Don't give me "taking the Christ out of Christmas" line....when you over spend, over buy and neglect those without.  When you miss the point, that out of chaos...came hope.

So what we did was donate in each families name, a gift from Heifer International (a group of ducklings!) and send them toy ducks to remember the gift made and those without.  And for the first time in a long time, I felt really good about giving over the holidays.

" It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Misunderstanding about "Family Time"

The upcoming holiday season is a very interesting season for me.  We are pushed, forced, prodded, force-fed "family"...not a realistic family, but a Hollywood family....the ideal, Normal Rockwell family. That doesn't work in real time.  When I left my home state 6 years ago to pursue the life I felt I had to, for myself, my family and my personal providential responsibility.   I realized the hard reality of "out of sight out of mind."  I also developed the personal philosophy of "family is those who treat you like family"....I owe no personal relations to people simply because we share a family tree... Think, how many people do you call on Thanksgiving? How many to you call the day after?

Hurry Up and Wait

That is the hardest part of it all isn't it....the waiting. Waiting to hear from a potential job, casting call, interview, if your couch sold on Craigslist....waiting is painful. Nothing creates more doubt, more feeling of lost than waiting.  Most of us in the modern age of text message, status updates and instant photos, instant coffee and instant shopping...feel anytime is too long. One day, one week and shutter to think, one month and then I must question all that is normal with the world. If we look through the past...many of the persons we read in biographies experienced a time of waiting.  As I have heard before...you feel like the Heavens are like Brass.  So to all of us....hold on. If you quit now, someone else will get your dream.